Recently it was Valentine’s Day.  Needless to say, I was thrilled….

Now, just because I don’t have a monogamous penis in my life, it doesn’t mean that I can’t feel the love.  For instance, yesterday, my love was directed towards my good friend Tanya.  Tanya gave me a heart shaped chocolate at work, so naturally, I reciprocated with a heartfelt poem.


You stole my heart, this Valentine’s Day

I started to think, I might be gay


Your hair, your eyes, your mouth, those boobies

The last time I smiled this much, I smoked 3 doobies


Your laugh’s as infectious, as HIV

You’re my Beyonce, and I’m Jay-Z


Your muscles aren’t big, but that’s ok, cause I’m strong

If I were a guy, I’d do you with my schlong


I love you so much, I’d hitch my horse to your cart

Cause this Valentine’s Day, you’ve stolen my heart


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