Plenty Of Fucking Idiots

I’m on an online dating site called Plenty of Fish and my name on it is Janice_Rubeeee.   It started off as something my friends and I made to entertain ourselves one night, and now I’m addicted to it.  Clearly it’s a big fat joke, to me, and anyone with a brain.  However, some people on the internet are very brainless, or are thinking with the other heads, which contrary to their claims, are actually very small.

I get about 40 emails a day.  Some guys try to be nice and ask me how my day is, others just write stupid generic messages of ‘hey‘ which I will never respond to, and some write things that are a little worse. 

Here is a compilation of the best messages I’ve gotten.  Spelling and punctuation are copied directly, and any swear words that have been asterisked out by POF I’ve reinstated.

Aren't I fucking hot?!

Cr***7: call me got my own place and everything real nice so call me bye ps i got bonner problems

Janice_Rubeee: And spelling problems

This guy went on to rant at me and I just started to correct his grammar until he told me, “fuc off whitey”

ic******87: are you single. do you have msn or fb ok. ih there you look very sexy and i like your tits. i’m a 25 year old man i live in fauquier bc if you dont know where this town is google maps/fauquier bc. you should come down here and chill ou with me in my bed

I never replied to this guy. But I love that he complimented my tits when my arms are in the way of them. Yep…they are that nice…

 

Wet*****s: Hey! How is your day going so far?

Janice_Rubeeee: That’s a bit of a personal question don’t you think?

Wet*****s: I don’t think that’s rude at all, or personal, a personal question would be something like asking what your financial situation is.

Janice_Rubeeee: Got me there

 

Johnny***in: your fucked up i like that i think i have the gerth your looking for i just got out of prison so if that doesnt scare you off we should chat take a look at my profile an get back to me my favourite pornstar is sasha grey cause she’s down for anything

I also didn’t reply to this one cause I don’t want to be murdered.

 

Blue*********uy: Have you hored yourself out lately

Blue*********uy:  I thought you where into fucking for cash, guess not

Janice_Rubeeee: you won’t pay enough

Blue**********uy: have you been fucking guys from here, how much

Blue**********uy: K  im ready to pay, im fucking horny. I have to run out leave your number and how
much ill call you tonight

Blue**********uy: You suck at this

Blue**********uy: you never did tell me how much
 

Janice_Rubeeee: I said 500 and you laughed and said 50

Blue**********uy: right im thinking more like 200

Janice_Rubeeee: nah

It’s nice to know I have something to fall back on if life doesn’t work out…

Po******ty: You have a dildo collection? There’s a dildo out there shaped like me! Lol

Janice_Rubeeee: so you’re saying you’re a dildo?

 

W****n:Hey I’m 25 and I’m sure I know what you want and I’ll give it to you like you might barely have got it from anyone else, so drop me a msg and we will plan something soon. My pic here is 2 yrs old . If you’re I treated , we can add each other on facebook

 

Might barely have got it from anyone else       ??????? 

My pic here is 2yrs old      Well that’s good to know so I can have a crush on what you used to look like.

AND if he treats me, I can creep him on facebook! ahhhhhhhh, a winner : )

 

2Hu*****n: Hey, wanna get spitroasted by 2 hung dudes? We have drinks and have 420 and can host

Janice_Rubeeee: No one has ever offered me dinner before!

2Hu******n: Ya…so do you wanna come over?

Janice_Rubeeee: This is going to be so romantic!

 

This next one will have you vomitting down your own chest, so brace yourself. 

Pr*******en: Hey baby just checking you out and I like what I read I’m very sexual freaky bisexual and into some nasty taboo shit would love to hook up with you and have to shove some of those dildos in my ass 🙂 get back

Janice_Rubeeee: Tell me more. In intricate detail.

Pr******en:  So baby what would you like to know sorry buy I’m not very big around 6inches I love licking ass,guys or girls and I have a footfetish, so I’d love to suck on your toes and have you shove your big toe up my ass I love getting fucked in ass my girls wearing strap on and I’ve fucked my cousins and one of my aunts I think incest is sexy 🙂 if you like get at me soon I’m deleting this account soon baby

I know I egged him on but I’m almost sorry I asked….Almost.

I also have a guy friend who is on POF and this is his profile…it’s not him in the picture, but the picture is amazing in itself : ) He doesn’t get much mail.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    certainly like your website but you need to check the spelling on several of your
    posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very troublesome to tell the reality then again I will definitely come back again.


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