Creepy People in Positions of Power Part 1

From early childhood to young adulthood,  we’ve all been raised in a world full of authority figures.   There are the ones to obviously be respected;  parents, teachers, police, etc.  But, there are also the ones who you kind of want to laugh at when they tell you what to do.  Ahem, some of them ride segways in the mall…

And nothing really against them, I mean, it’s a job and someone has to do it, but is there  a creepy personality quiz that they need to complete in order to get the job?  Kind of seems like it.  Here’s an example of my experience:

Movie Theatre Ticket Rippers

Now I have a very specific ritual of events that I go through when I visit the theater. 

Step 1: Buy tickets

Step 2: Go to the washroom

Step 3: Buy snacks

Step 4: Go into theater

Now, I think this is an excellent 4 step system to movie watching bliss, however, I was cruelly interrupted at step 2 one day last summer.

My friend and I were there to catch a matinée flick of some horror movie, cause that’s obviously the best time to be scared so you can exit into daytime.  Besides the point.   We got our tickets and started to head to the washroom.  Now, in this particular theater, there are 2 washrooms for women.  One, is at the beginning of the long corridor with all the theaters down it, ya know, like, 1-10.  The other is down the 10-20 hallway, all the way at the end.

Our movie was at the end of the 10-20 hallway, so we didn’t want to go all the way down to the washroom, all the way back to the concession for snacks, and then back down to the movie.  We figured, we’ll just go to the washroom at the beginning of the 1-10 hallway, get snacks, then head down.  This is where our flawless plan was foiled, by some crazy woman whose name I do not know. 

First of all, she wasn’t even standing at the little ticket ripping podium.  She was way ahead of it.  And let me point out that the podium is further back than the entrance to the washrooms, so you don’t actually need your tickets to get into it.   She had her hands extended for our tickets so I figured, whatever, she can rip them here, we’ll go to the washroom and be on our way.  Not so fast.   We handed over our tickets, and she read what theater we were supposed to be in.

“No, no, no, no, no, you in wrong plaaaaaaaaaaace!” she cried at us.

“Ya, we know, we’re just going to the washroom,” I told her.

She shook her head menacingly.  I took a step toward the washroom.  She stepped into my way.

“You not going in there!”

“I’m not sneaking into a movie, I’m just going to the washroom!”


My friend and I stood there with looks of disbelief plastered across our faces.  I did a quick scan for a hidden camera crew.  None. 

Crazy Face looked over to see a 15 yr old kid sweeping up popcorn and motioned rapidly for backup.  Sweeper came over in a hustle. 


“You! You call for me Eugene!” screeched Crazy Face.


“You no argue!!! You call for me Eugene, now!”

I felt the need to interject,  “We’re just trying to go to the washroom.”

Sweeper looked confused.  “You’re just going to the washroom?”

I nodded.  “They’re just going to the washroom,” confirmed Sweeper.

Crazy Face wasn’t having any of this.

“I not getting fired for this! Call for me Eugene!”

I can only assume that Eugene was her supervisor, and hopefully not her knife wielding sidekick.  Either way, I didn’t want Sweeper to call for her Eugene, so I snatched my tickets back.   We started off towards out proper theater corridor and met another ticket ripper who was past his podium.  I handed over the tickets.  He let us in.

“Sir, am I allowed to use the washroom over there if my movie is over here?”

“Well ya,” he said.  “Anybody can go to any washroom here, you don’t even need a ticket.”

We got into the washroom and I turned to my friend. “What do you think she would have done if I’d made a run for the washroom?”

She looked at me with a very serious face.  “I think she would have called Eugene.”


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