Slutty Girls Ruin Everything

If you’ve ever had a one night stand, I’m sure you’ve said/heard this phrase : “I’ve never done anything like that before”   as you are trying to locate your clothes, determine if the person next to you was a good looking mistake, and get the fuck home/kick them the fuck out.

Now, you know that’s a lie, they know that’s a lie, your neighbors know that’s a lie, you’re a huge fucking liar.

I’m ok with that.

But you know who’s not? The people who are telling the truth.

My friend recently had her first one nighter, and I don’t know if she actually said those words to this guy, but if she did, he wasn’t buyin it.  He called a few weeks later to “watch a movie”, which translates into “watch the opening credits and screw”.  And she doesn’t just want to screw this guy, she at least wants to be treated like a lady for a couple of nights before anything else happens (again), but how does she change his perception of her?  It’s not like she can tell him, “look, I don’t normally do that sort of thing, in fact, I’ve never done that before”


So to all you slutty girls out there, stop being such liars, and give my friend a chance to go on a goddamn date.

Instead of using the standard line, from now on, please have this memorized, or written on your tits before you head out to the bar,

This is not out of the ordinary, what is your address? Have a nice day


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Monique said,

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Agreed!!! You are awesome my little self taught idiot!!!

  2. 2

    Emnonymous said,

    I fucking love you. All is forgiven.

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